One To One - Coaching for Victims of Pathologicals

As a survivor of a narcissistic parent and many narcissistic or psychopathic lovers, friends and bosses... my goal is to help you along the same difficult path I had to walk and still do.

The things I learned from working with abused persons for 4 years now is that the emotional, spiritual, medical, physical, sexual, financial devastation done by a pathological is unfathomable unless you have lived it.  Friends desert you when you don't "get over it" in a few weeks or months and then -- years later, you are still barely functioning.  Mentally torn apart, with no self-esteem and still unable to understand what it was that happened to you.  And unable to really explain it to anyone else.

There's no free psychotherapy to treat your Post Traumatic Stress Disorder or 'deprogram' you.  On top of it, very few therapists know or want to know that what's left behind from a pathological requires some specialized care. There's no free doctor or nurse practitioner for the chronic medical problems caused and exacerbated by the extreme stress brought on by a pathological in your. (Maybe a free clinic for STD treatment, which means standing in the lines with hookers and addicts).

Then there's the "toxic hope" people online who say they can cure your pathological with their program so you can stay with him or just do some of the estoric spiritual cleansing and you will be free of him.  And the 'online support boards' full of 'getting on with your life' stuff like what diet you are on, cookie recipes, lint removal tricks and how to write a new (NO NO!) online dating profile- groups that are more about avoiding getting at what happened than dealing with it head on! Sorry, no.    

Women end up with labels like she's sick, scorned, obsessed, crazy, bad mother, stalker, too sensitive, 'hell hath no fury' and overly reactive.  You've been violated by a narcissist or psychopath and are then doubly violated by the absence of trained professionals who can really do something about it, violated by the legal system who thinks your over-reacting, violated by law enforcement who doesn't take you seriously, and you're left to pick up the pieces alone.  And you're psychologically and sometimes physically scarred and so emotionally numb you just stumble  through what's left of what used to be your life.

You only wanted love and be loved - by friends, spouses, lovers and family - this seems like cruel and unusual punishment.  Definitely not your fault and not deserved.

Have you been told you are:

• codependent or a co-narcissist/ co-pathological,
• a sex addict,
• a relationship addict,
• a scorned women
• a psycho
• obsessed and need to "move on"
  
• a domestic violence statistic.

 Have your friends given you relationship books or self help books?  Told you to watch Oprah or Dr. Phil? Yet none of it seems to get at what that relationship with the pathological was like and how different it was from any other relationship you ever had?

You turn to the web and find loads of information on them! The narcissists and psychopaths.  Even some support groups.  But no one wants to listen to you.  You know the pathological will never go to a psychiatrist and be formerly diagnosed, besides they're incurable.  But what about you? What can you do to help yourself heal when time isn't making anything better?

Others tell you stuff like, “Yeah, my husband's jerk too" or "My mother was off-the-wall, too" or "I had a creep for a boyfriend once" or "My old boss could be overbearing, also"   And then the worst: "Well, I got over it and moved on -- so what's wrong with you?”

There are so few people who really understand what it is like to be prey.  To be targeted, lured, brainwashed, conned, profiled, mind-controlled and then live with the screwed up realities, gaslighting and devaluing of a pathological.  Even you think somehow it's YOUR FAULT.  But it's not.  Not one bit.

I get it.  I know what it is to go from being a successful woman to a shell of your former self.  To be afraid to speak up about anything.  To cry yourself to sleep at night.  To feel so worthless you want to die.  To be so sick you can't walk or eat.

 To be a victim is not crime.

 But to do nothing to help yourself may be.

 You are worth a hand up.